Feedback - The Dirtiest Word in Our Workplace

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Feedback has been hailed as the most powerful tool in the modern workplace. So why is no one is using it and what can be done about it? After years of researching interpersonal skills and then training supervisors and managers on the fine art of giving feedback, I think I have finally figured it out–but I would appreciate your feedback!

Recently, I had the opportunity to test the necessity of feedback. During a simulation exercise, I was given a picture of a maze and detailed directions. These directions were given to me both in writing and verbally, providing information on how to move the pencil by inches, when to move upward, and other specifics. The directions were provided to ensure I made it out of the maze successfully. I was encouraged to refer to the directions throughout the exercise. I was then blindfolded and told to begin.

I failed miserably.

Why? Because getting directions–no matter how clearly created and beautifully executed–cannot replace step-by-step feedback. Just imagine if someone had been behind me watching my moves, urging me along when I was headed in the right direction, and giving me corrective information when I got off-track. I would have undoubtedly made it out of the maze. I think this is a relevant analogy for the function of feedback in today’s workplace.

Those employees that do make it out of the “departmental maze” are either lucky; have had some inside information from a mentor or other knowledgeable co-worker; or have been through it enough times that they know the pattern. The result is a mixed outcome of successes and failures leaving a supervisor scratching her head. Some of her employees are succeeding, some are not, and she can’t determine what to keep doing and what to stop. It is feedback that will make the difference between the successful employee and the unsuccessful, so why is no one doing it?

Unfortunately, the reason is partly due to the fact that most employees associate the term feedback with criticism. This leads to tremendous stress for both parties and general ill feelings for several days following the session. It doesn’t have to be that way. Following are the steps I recommend for changing the negative perception of feedback. These steps will work in any organization–be it work, family, church or school:

Watch Your Language. If you are experiencing a strong negative reaction to the word feedback, don’t use it. Instead of calling someone to your office to give them feedback, tell them you have some information about their latest project. Other terms might be results, tips, numbers, or impact.

Avoid “May I See You In My Office?” Syndrome. Give feedback regularly, not just when something has gone wrong. Make feedback a regular part of any performance development agenda. When employees are asked to come by your office for a special reason, you have already fostered anxiety and distrust of a necessary process. By building these conversations into routine events, employees know what to expect and will be more willing to see your point and work on changes.

Enough Already ! Limit each session to one (at the most two) topics of performance to discuss. Don’t bring a laundry list of wrong-doings. Even the most confident individual will feel bullied (no matter how good you may get at giving feedback).

“After You” Is More Than Just Good Manners. Allow the person receiving the feedback to have the opportunity to start the feedback. This is done by suggesting a self-assessment in the area(s) to be discussed. By starting out the session with the employee giving their own assessment of their performance or behavior in the targeted area, you avoid a crime-and-punishment type relationship. Take the employee’s own self-evaluation and then see where your own notes are in sync. Build on these points and then move into any points not discussed.

So What? If you cannot tie the behavior or issue to performance goals, you are probably being critical. For each piece of feedback you are about to give, make sure it can be tied to one of the employee’s performance goals (or objectives, desires, agreements, or other pre-determined criteria). Think through your real goal in giving feedback to ensure the best possible environment for receiving it.

I’ll Have the “But Sandwich”, Please. Balance the constructive with the positive. Avoid the ‘but

Sandwich’. Don’t start out your session with a few nice things to say and then launch into the real reason for the feedback, then close down the session with a few more nice words. This is called the “but sandwich.” It sounds something like this: You are doing a great job here, but … Any attempt at conveying positive feedback (and seeing a repeat of those behaviors) is lost using this method. It is necessary to show the employee where they can continue to make contributions, and where they can improve. Humans have both positive traits and areas for improvement. Acknowledge both.

Just the Facts, Ma’am. Do your research upfront. Include numbers, examples, and specifics. This isn’t just a good idea to fend off defensive responses. It’s vital to giving your employee full understanding of the situation, the impact, and your recommendation for improvement. Likewise, if you want your positive feedback to really have some punch, and ensure a repeat performance, do the exact same thing.

Know Your Lines. Write out what you would potentially like to say before meeting with the employee.

Better yet—practice with a trusted peer or loved one. Your use of words (and your body language) set the tone for a successful session. For instance, avoid the words “never” and “always”. No one is never or always any one way. You set up defensiveness with the employee and start a memory war of examples that contradict your statement.

Avoid the Horns or Halo Effect. This concept is generally found in interviewing. It refers to the tendency we all have to hire those that remind us of ourselves. The same phenomenon can be found when managing others. We tend to overlook mistakes made by those we identify with, and become hypercritical of those to whom we cannot relate. Before giving this person feedback (or withholding it), ask yourself if you are trying to make that person into a junior version of yourself, or is the behavior truly effecting productivity.

Stephanie Goddard (Davidson) is considered a subject matter expert in workplace communications and specializes in leadership and interpersonal skills training.

Frequently appearing as a guest on radio programs and published in numerous articles on workplace communications, Stephanie is also a nationally certified trainer for Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People; DDI programs; Ridge’s People Skills for Managers and Individual Contributors; Myers-Briggs Type Indicator; FranklinCovey’s Project Management and master certified in Achieve Global’s Management Programs; as well as an instructor with the American Management Association.

Go to her website for even more articles at http://www.work-stress-solutions.com

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